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Heading South – on foot.

The fantasy

I have a plan.  Now.  For some time I’ve had a rich fantasy of walking off this nagging, chronic illness I have.  Last year, I began to plan how I might accomplish a long-distance walk.  Just open the door and head south, always south with no particular goal in mind, just the pure joy of walking, the feeling of being “on the way” and on my own two feet.  I have no desire to walk the Pacific Crest Trail nor to undertake any such rigorous, cross-country, mountainous trek.  Back roads, bike trails and streets of small towns and large if it comes to that, are my preference.

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The Visible and Invisible Me

The most difficult thing for me about having chronic headache disease – and being close to people – is what they don’t see or, perhaps, what I have not yet learned to share.  They do ask how I am or how I’m doing, but it tends to end there or with an expression of sympathy.   And I don’t follow up with more specifics, what’s going on with me day to day.  I don’t know how to bridge this gap without dragging things down into a kind of hole.  And I have good friends, who are good people, whom I value highly.

Half Seen

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