There’s a hell of a lot I am NOT doing these days. After a good December, my pain level has started to shoot back up, which is always a complex, episodic tale that I never feel like living much less telling. This morning is a reprieve, the second time I’ve had the following experience.
I arrive at about 9:30 at the Senior Center, feeling rocky, migraine emerging, slightly flustered and disorganized, unsure if I’ll make it through the session. I pull myself together somewhat as the model arrives and try to settle in as we start with the first 20 minute pose. I like this particular model a lot, interesting face, porky body, willing and committed to the work. Halfway through the 2 hour-session my stomach has settled, and my migraine is almost gone. I’m alert, relaxed. My individual parts are feeling much more collected into a whole me, and it is all a huge relief after the last few days. Like a big weight has lifted. I don’t know why or how this works for me. It’s certainly the process but also, I suspect, the energy in the room, the quiet, collective attentiveness and clarity of shared – not just activity – maybe purpose, maybe struggle. Who knows. Something.
A new person showed up to draw today. She volunteers at the Pickford as does Patrick, our model, but mentioned she doesn’t know him well. He’s not a very talkative guy. Drawing him has allowed her to know him in an entirely different way. We are not permitted to examine people in this way ordinarily and not just their hands and faces but their bumps and lumps, how that fits into the space around them and more.
Yesterday I used my hands to rake and prune my garden, which felt good, even very good, but the lift didn’t last. Drawing, especially in this group setting – no matter the outcome – does something for me that is undefinable and profoundly nurturing. I’ve been thinking off and on about different ways to do figure drawing more often. Maybe youtube! Never occurred to me before. Would be interesting to compare.
I like this drawing although, looking at it on the computer, I see all sorts of odd, out-of-wack stuff, proportions, angles etc., that weren’t so obvious at first or in process. Nonetheless, it kind of works for me in more ways than one. It was such a captivating study in angles. Art is crucial to my well being, learning, engaging with others and supporting my perpetual effort to hold my mind, body and spirit together.