Dark days and Dog Beach

Lying on the sand in the Santa Cruz sun, listening to the sounds of surf, kids, families, dogs playing on this off-leash beach was pure bliss.

Winter

I now have chronic daily migraines.  Actually I have had for some time, but now- no time off.  I’m up against it big time, and I’m barely treading water.  I’ve tried all the usual preventative medications and then some.

A few worked for a time and then I developed a tolerance with decreasing effectiveness – and ultimately a switch to yet another potent drug.  My body is changing with age.  Especially in the last couple of years, I have become increasingly intolerant of these medications.  The side effects are no longer just a nuisance.  They are scary, painful, and basically counterproductive.  These drugs are dragging me down.

What now?

What’s next, very soon, is an appointment at Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale, Arizona.  While I’m trying to let go of any expectations, my purpose is to determine if I’m a candidate for an occipital nerve stimulator.  Once I made the decision to pursue this avenue via Mayo, things lightened up a little for me.

Dog Beach

Life went on and a few things happened.  My sister came to town, and we began to communicate a little.  I found a massage therapist who is a “healer” in addition to her other skills.
We went to Santa Cruz to visit my son. I put in daily beach time, and I felt better for it. Santa Cruz is eminently bike-able, so I rode my bike a short way to the beach. Lying on the sand in the sun, listening to the sounds of surf, kids, families, dogs playing on this off-leash beach was pure bliss.
Once back home, the weather began to warm up and dry out a little.  I got out more including frequent jaunts down to the water.  I eased back on the medication that was giving me fits in terms of the worst side effects.  I amped up my yoga practice.  I began to feel my body respond during or after each of these ministrations.  It’s as if I have just a little more breathing room than I did before, short-term periods of relief and true relaxation, a few more hours here and there between headaches.
My plans to go to Mayo Clinic fell into place more easily than I expected.  The appointment date wasn’t that far in the future.  A credit with Alaska Airlines covered both my husband’s and my airfare.  An old friend offered us his time share condo in Phoenix.
I am trying to trust that, whatever happens, these are good omens that I will be taken of in a larger sense.  It’s hard for me to let go like this, but it also feels right and perhaps true.

Note

In my last post I mentioned going to the Washington Center for Pain Management for the occipital nerve stimulator.  This turned out to be a difficult experience, and I would not recommend this center.  If you would like more information, reply to this post.

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